It’s Hard This Mother’s Day
As we get older occasions seem to get harder and harder to celebrate.
After losing my mom, I felt empty. I know I held her as she took her last breath. While I did that the sweet nurse said to me, think she held you when you took your first breath.
I know she meant well, but I wanted my dad to be holding her, he was only seconds away.
I have always tried to do my best as a mother even during the most difficult times of all. Yet I know I have disappointed them both.
I have spoke of this often to other mothers, why didnt our babies come with instructions on raising them and doing a great job.
I really thought I did, I stayed home when I could have went back to work. I had to go in and out of hospital for a period of time to get better. Yet to my children they were angry at me for leaving them. I understood that, we did coucilling, but was it enough.
As my adult children grew they both had gone through a significant trauma, some I couldnt even protect them from. Or trust me I would have.
I I know I enabled them but not on purpose, I mean what parent wouldnt You always want a roof over their heads and food.
Yet now it doesnt matter what you did or didnt do as a mother. Especially when they dont want to see you.
One does for now, I am grateful. To be honest I just wish we could all get along and have a family dinner.
Afterall life is to short, not just on special occasions but often or even once a month.
I wonder is it to late?
Well celebrating now for me are the memories of pictures of the wonderful things we shared. Holidays and places we went. Times we went to the park and had a picnic and they took swimming lessons.
From being a coach for soccer and a girl guide councillor I enjoyed everything I did with my children and I hope they will remember those things in a positive way.
One more thing, I love them both with all my heart. I am proud of them and all of their accomplishments.
As a mother this “Mothers Day”, there will be no pity party. There will be a memory celebration and how grateful I am to have brought them both into the world.
I only wish every day brings them love, hope and good health.
To all moms, be proud of all you do. No one mom is perfect, we only do our best.
Happy Mothers Day, to moms with children and to moms with furbabies to,
Bless all of you.
