Was the numbness I was feeling a form of isolation or was I not coping well?
At first I thought, well I do love being around people, the ability to listen to others and share.
Never did I feel what I am experiencing now.
After researching and finding out that the numbness I am feeling ,could be related to many things in my life. It can also be related to medical conditions.
Well I love google and all but you can actually drive yourself crazy with trying to diagnose yourself. with all of the things that could be wrong. But it is not.
Coming to terms with my numbness took me on a new path.
Finding My Roots
As far back as I can remember I had many different coping tools that I used to help me get through things, that were both positive or negative.
In the beginning at a very young age I use to write down things in my diary and hide it. Never wanting to share, or letting others know what was really going on.
Writing is a great way to cope. Crafting or walking, taking photography or anything like that is also a fantastic way to help you deal with day to day life.
Yet the numbness, the feeling of going with the flow. Doing what you have to do, trying to shut the negativity around you off. Most of all avoiding the people that bring nothing but stress to your life.
Then the social media, I often can go a day or two without even going on it anymore. Other than the joy of my small business, creating and sharing. I have been avoiding what is happening in the outside world, especially the war. (not that there is not concern for all of the people-wishing I could do something positive)
So by being numb, I lack knowledge of many things. Also I shut off the hurt feelings that I recieve from others.
Is This A Good Things?
When one is numb, they are exhausted and tired of negativity. The inability to cope or deal with many things. Numbing happens to each and everyone, at some point and time in their lives.
Its the long periods that one goes with numbness is concerning, researchers state that it is important to keep your mind focused on as many positive things and people you have in your life.
Do not look back at the should ofs and the could haves, remember all of the moments where you laughed and had a wonderful time.
Focusing on a dark period for a long time, can stop you from enjoying life in general. So let the sunshine in, set up a goal a day that is positive.
Give yourself a fascial, a pedicure or manicure. How about a trip to the salon or barber shop. Playing some wonderful music that just picks your spirits up.
Numb is not a place to be in for a very long time. It is real and you will know if you have it or have gone through it. Much different then depression it is a state of blocking out, having no emotion and most of all not enjoying life.
It may take time to understand what it is, but when you do, your awareness will set you on the right path.
Although it is not like a lightswitch, you cannot turn it on and off. It is there, be aware and do what is best for you.
You matter most.